call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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