beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I AM VODKA MAN
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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