girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
