I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
