evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We need to rekindle our bromance
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
