Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize