Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
