It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
