i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize