It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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