Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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