In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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