Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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