I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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