Whats the glycemic index on semen?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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