i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
