You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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