question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there was a trapeze. enough said
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
