he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
