Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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