if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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