WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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