DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
