you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
