dude i'm inner monologue high
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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