hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
