If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
