oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
