i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
