Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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