Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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