Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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