So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
