what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
