so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
