Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
