Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
