Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
