Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
