May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
