I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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