Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
