think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
