Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
