Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize