i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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