i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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