dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
