i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize