Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
