she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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