Taylor Swift is so right about you.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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