I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
