Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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